Posters: The Two Lists

We noted that a list like this can feel pretty overwhelming, but while looking at the list it became clear that a vast majority of the challenges were shared – few, if any, were unique to any one family.

 

Next, we asked the group what gifts or qualities they would want their children to take with them when they left home.  That list looked like this:

 

 

There are two main goals we’re aiming for with this exercise:

1. We bring the focus to long-term parenting.  It’s so easy to lose track of long-term goals when everyday life happens, and while practicing Positive Discipline certainly helps improve relationships and reduce battles on a day-to-day basis, it does so through the lens of the long view.
2. We want the parents to truly understand that they are not alone.  Not in the problems and concerns they are faced with, and not in their hopes and dreams they have for their children.

The question is – how do we get from the first list to the second? 

And of course, that’s why we’re all there.  To learn and practice the skills to work through our challenges and impart these long-term gifts to our children.

This is a great illustration of the focus in these classes on experiential activities and group brainstorming.  These lists aren’t our lists as facilitators.  These lists are our lists as a group of parents that want to do our best.

We don’t have to be perfect.  It’s not good for our kids if we’re perfect, because they’d miss the opportunities to see us make mistakes, learn from them, and clean up after them.

They’ll learn from that.  They’ll learn a LOT from that.

These lists are posted on the wall for every class, as reminders of areas of focus for the tools and skills we discuss and practice, and of the ultimate goals of all of this effort and heartache and joy and frustration and gratification and helplessness and effectiveness and learning and practice.

I can’t wait to look back on these lists at the end of the seven weeks and see if it looks or feels any different.