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  • Posters: The Two Lists

    During our 7-week parenting class, we generate quite a few posters.   Some express Positive Discipline principles, and some are generated during experiential activities and brainstorming sessions in class.   I thought that these might be interesting to share, and possibly helpful as resources and reminders for participants after the class has ended.  So to those…

  • The Power of Repair

    Lucas was hurting the cat in a particularly worrisome way. We’d had talks several times that day about how to treat her.  I truly felt scared that she would be seriously injured. I yelled “Stop it!”.  Loudly.  Reeeeaaallly loudly. He left the room with his hands over his ears, saying, “I’m ignoring you!”  He came…

  • Acting “as if”

    A few days ago I was minding my own business, puttering around the house doing one thing or another, when I heard a loud noise that sounded like a cat hissing, growling, and crying at the same time. It was the cat.  Hissing, growling, and crying at the same time. Our son has a love/torture…

  • Nonjudgmental Awareness

    Try this – watch your child, for just a few seconds or minutes, without making judgments or drawing conclusions of any kind.  Try not to identify behavior as good or bad, desirable or undesirable, acceptable or in need of correction.  Try to simply observe them.  And, if you like, see if you might be able…

  • Mistaken Goals – The Belief Behind the Behavior

    Mistaken Goals chart (Belief Behind the Behavior) [PDF file] Mistaken Goals – chart of parenting interventions [PDF file] All human beings want to belong. What we call misbehavior is typically the child’s misguided solution to problems they perceive related to belonging and connecting. Behind the behavior is often a mistaken belief about how to achieve…

  • Exploring vs. Imposing Consequences

    Helping teens explore the consequences of their choices is much different from imposing consequences on them.  Imposing a consequence (a poorly disguised punishment) is designed to make kids pay for what they did and usually invites rebellion.  Curiosity questions invite kids to explore what happened, what caused it to happen, how they feel about it,…

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